/dep/ - Depression

cliquers OUT

>>277993
the why comes by itself. Humans have a biological drive for sex so that's pretty much it. Our society makes every effort to constantly send sex signals to the male population while restricting them on the dating market.

What OP learn is to cope and just give up with foids because as a bottom tier (old) male he won't get any

>>278007
I'm not larping or trying to be tough, op is just retarded for weeping over this shit like he's some kid, plus he's actually giving money to random succubi on the internet like some thirsty indian mongrel, really disgusting behavior and he should stop immediately
>>278013
>Our society makes every effort to constantly send sex signals to the male population while restricting them on the dating market
doesn't happen, I don't hear anything about sex unless I look at pornography, you're exagerating or making things up

>>278014
If you actually go outside, at least it you're in a western country, there are sexual propaganda advertisements everywhere (for media, clothing), e.g. at bus stops, near shopping areas. Almost all media (TV, films, games, books) are full of sexual propaganda. Even if you are somehow unaware of the signals, they penetrate your mind regardless.

>>278018
is your definition of sexual propaganda just any depiction of a female or something? I live in america and the ads I see outside are for lawyers, various roadside services, colleges, and jesus. As for games/films, I don't even want to get into that, but I consume that sort of media daily and honestly never run into anything sexual unless I'm watching a romance film or something, maybe a family comedy shows a kissing scene or something but those movies are trash and I hardly watch anything like that. You're exaggerating or reading into things that aren't really there, there is really not that much sexual imagery in day-to-day life unless you're hyperfocused on it and seek it out

>>278019
I am referring to, for example: sex scenes, depictions of relationships and romantic desire in media, depictions of females in revealing clothing, etc. You must have absorbed it so thoroughly that you don't even see it anymore. Culture is the operating system of your brain. In an arabic muslim country this is all entirely different and replaced with pressure for marriage. It programs your mind.

>>277978
the ones not present were right
congrats on being a bootlicker + rule 3

There's one aspect of working that gets to me a lot, I feel trapped because of a lack of energy to gain new knowledge and skills

After working hours every day I'm absolutely burnt out emotionally and mentally, I feel like I have no time to try and learn something new or somehow improve anything. Even weekends arent the best because I have chores to catch up on and other personal responsibilities

Really hate that trapped feeling that exhaustion from work gives me and it's hard to even have the energy for hobbies and fun anymore

>>278006
I feel that way too.
I don't understand how so many people are able to work AND do something, like, go to college. I can't even imagine being able to do both without killing myself. Even if I were just doing online classes or something, I just know that I don't have it in me to keep up with it.

And it sucks that in order to improve upon your life you generally need to have some kind of an income to live on while focusing your efforts on something else. But what if earning and maintaining that income depletes your physical, mental, and emotional reserves?
Feels like you're snared within the trap no matter what, unless you just happen to have been born outside the trap or at least with one foot out of the trap.

>>278006
Fuck fuck fuck, I feel this so much. How the fuck do you do a full time job AND make an effort to “improve” yourself in hopes of earning more, AND take care your day to day living, AND maintain your sanity with some hobbies or just trying to enjoy your life a little. Doing all of that is also considered bare minimum and you could very well just be living in poverty for the rest of your life anyways. No wonder so many people are giving up or hooked on drugs to get through the day. Why did this get so complicated, being born is a scam.

>>278006
"He who works all day has no time to make money" - John Rockefeller
It's the most insidious and intentional aspect of pleb jobs

>>277998
I can understand this. It's the like the empty feeling of milling about a game after you've beaten it and done everything you've wanted. You might hang in there for a while out of habit, but there's ultimately no further reason to play. Party's over, time to disconnect.

Which depression do you prefer, The "I don't feel anything" depression or the "I'm feeling way too much" depression?

>>278009
100% the not feeling anything. When your mind is overwhelmed to a numbness to more suffering but you can still do stuff, and respond "fuck off" to any external abuse is nicer. Being vulnerable to world with strong unpleasant feelings and mental suffering is much worse. If I could stay numb and dissmiss things with anger all the time I would much prefer it.

I no longer enjoy comics or anime or manga (except beyblade burst and pretty-cure). I read and watched all the series that interested me, even raw manga, I hate the new animes. isekai,omegaverse smut, moeshit and a mix of all these
I own a lot of IRL comics, manga, as well as some toys.
Should I gift them/sell them away? What interest do I pick up? Im getting into swimming and track-and-field.
I own a PS4 with like 12 games but I only play Horizon. and I dont play it much because Im really bad at aiming the arrows and I get salty easily when I lose too much.

>>278010
I’ve had both and both are awful in their own ways. In the midst of either, you’d just rather not be here.

This is why lobotomies should become popular again. Cures psychopathy / anger issues easily without drugs or extended treatment.

Howard Dully was like you until Doctor Walter Freeman performed the operation on his brain.

Cut my hand again from slamming my mouse after going on a long losing streak. Every game just felt unwinnable.

I just hate how I can't even find satisfaction in video games. I just lose lose and lose. But instead of realizing that I am having a bad time playing these online games and instead taking a break to play some cozy singleplayer games like Zelda or build some Lego I keep slamming my head against the wall (metaphorically) and just getting more and more frustrated.

You might say "go to therapy" but the thing is I don't get this mad at anything else ever. I don't get mad at singleplayer games or anything in real life.

>>277968
what game are you playing

>>277968
You clearly want to be playing single-player games, so go do that next time you get the urge to play games. Don't even log on to a multiplayer game.

WELL IT FINALLY HAPPENED

I smashed my desk and hit my mouse which sent it flying and broke it.

And my hand hurts. I hope it's just a scratch.

And I thought that after hurting my hand yesterday I have finally learned that getting mad at video games was dumb. I just hate randomness so much. GOD THAT WAS SO STUPID AND UNNECESSARY. I guess now I am forced to take a break from the computer. The physical stores only sell dogshit mice I refuse to buy so I will have to buy internationally which will take like a week to arrive.

>>275557
No, but about a week ago I became hyper-aware of my left big toe and second biggest toe overlapping when I try to sleep.

I have to roll a sock around the toe whenever I go to sleep.

Time to get those toe spreader meme products.

Highly likely fibromyalgia non-stop for the last 7 years. I don't even think the water under the bridges in my city is deep enough. Plus patrol and bystanders everywhere. Scary when balls sometimes hurt and nutting feels stronger than usual (fapping). As if the pressure is on prostate. The vomit feeling I've been having for 5 years before 2016 only intensified since. Had 165 high blood pressure episode outside about 2 years ago for the second time under the same circumstances. One day after parents threatened to get me a job. Nearly passed out but luckily was not far away from home. First time was accused of simulating and causing it advertently to remain NEET despite difficulties to do it and all measurements. Second time wasn't accused. Either he remembered his rant was ineffective and absurd the last time or he didn't. Cause he forgets many things.

>>274241
just spent another hour suffering alone on the toilet bowl
and it's not over yet, i'll spend the evening going in and out of the toilet

don't forget guys, life is a gift!

>>277902
Kasodani Kyouko Touhou Project 13 Ten Desires smiling blushing shouting smug face map of Ohio, USA

>>274241
chronic pain, physical chronic pain is the number one worst thing a person can have. all other issues can't even happen without you first being healthy. I was born with a congenital case of lumbar spinal stenosis. my grandma's friend is a surgeon and he looked at my MRI's and said it looked like the back of a 93 year old man and the worst case he's ever seen. my family just spat on me saying its because i was lazy, fucking retards thats not how it works. ironically both my dad and my brother got back issues and their advice all failed them. I was 19 OP, and i could not sit longer than a minute without having to lay down. i lost 30 pounds in a month from not eating. it was hell. it was so bad. but thankfully. for me there was hope. a minimally invasive back surgery, a laminectomy (where they just cut off the part of the bone thats compressing the nerves) took all the pain away and i was better than ever after it, but it left me with a lot of sympathy for chronic pain patients.

>>269209
So you didnt have it before but now your addicted to it?

>>277779
It makes perfect sense because it's essentially just a placebo

>>277871
its not

>>269209
But how do you feel while you're on it? Is life more bearable than before? Is the anxiety coming from the fact that you might be dependent on the pills for life?

>>277779
Same species different brain structure and function

>>277647
9393
if you kill yourself you only die,don't do it though…
-frater Mohamad

>>275502
Just suck his tongue bro do you want reach nirvana?

All I can say to everyone Is don't do it!

I almost did it when I was 16, with partial suspension hanging. I fainted, but woke up, somehow. That's not supposed to happen. 15 years later, and I feel like I'll be ready to try again. Dean man walking.

>>277911
Same, I wish everyday that the belt hadn't fucking snapped.

>>277894
Doesn't she notice you taking them?

>>277896
I don't think so. Maybe she does notice and just doesn't care. But I don't think she knows.

>>277894
I think I got too excited aabout feeling so O.K. and I took too much. Now I got that weird "derealization" or "depersonalization" feeling. I never really understood the difference between the two.

I had to make some soup for my mom to eat for lunch. And it felt more like I was just observing through my body's eyes as my body cooked the soup all on its own. I'm more like a running commentary in my body;s head, but it runs on autopilot and all I do is observe through its eyes.
I wish I could feel this way all the time.

>>277900
I kept eating Gabapentin pills all day yesterday to keep the drunk-like feeling going. Didn't really feel "good", but it was nice not caring about anything for a while. And stumbling around my house was kinda funny. At some point in the early afternoon I sat down to listen to an anime OST and accidentally fell asleep for a couple hours.

Later in the evening I took around 250mg of DPH along with the Gabapentin pills. I don't know why; it's not a high enough dose to meet the Hatman or anything. But swallowing 10 off-brand Benedryl pills seemed like a good idea at the time.

The Gabapentin eliminated the awful restless-leg-syndrome that DPH usually gives me, and eliminated any pains it sometimes causes in my chest. It seems like a pretty good combination actually. I played Road Rash on a Sega Genesis emulator for an hour, then stood up and it was so hard to move my body. And I could barely speak to my mom, I stuttered a lot and it felt like my mouth was full of marbles or something. I randomly would hear knocking sounds, like someone knocking on a door or a window, but I knew it was my imagination.

My memory is very fuzzy at this point. I remember sitting down to let myself fall asleep, but I remember doing weird things. Two or three times I went to the kitchen to make instant ramen noodles in the microwave, but after the microwave beeped, I would open it up and find nothing inside and get confused. Then I would realize, I didn't put anything IN the microwave; I just turned it on and left it empty.

At some point I did go to sleep and was woken by my mom because she needed to use the bathroom. I have to help her to and from the bathroom. I remember having an argument with her about the placement of a trash can, but I have no idea what we were so angry at each other about.

When I got up this morning and opened my laptop I saw that I apparently looked at a lot of porn, too, though I have no memory of doing so.

Well, today I've been swallowing Gabapentin like candy once again, and tonight I think I'll use more DPH, between 300 and 400mg. Working my way up. I actually enjoyed it when I think about it and I want to do it again.

Armodafinil makes me so relaxed and easy-going but it fucks up my sleep schedule if I take it every day. I wish I could get an alternate treatment for my ADHD